18-hour hell

Played basketball last night, much like I do every week. My knees arent what they used to be when I was 20, but I am still able to play with a reasonable amount of skill. Of course if I dropped a few more lbs. to alleviate extra weight on them, they might last longer, but hey, I love to eat and thats something I will do forever. Once the knees give way, I will then and only then, entertain the idea of golf, bridge, and a walker. Unfortunately for me, those days are closer than they are further at this stage of the game. So while playing last night, I rolled my ankle on an opponents foot and went to the ground (no assholes, the Richter Scale was not affected). As I heard a slight snap, I realized there was a problem. I hobbled to my car in excruciating pain, all while walking like a newborn Giraffe. Between the ice, and the crawling upstairs, it was not a good night. Then as I got in bed, my ankle began to develop its own heartbeat....

I awake this morning, put pressure on it slightly and saw stars. As blood flow returned, it subsided and I was able to walk, albeit like Cropsy dragging the said foot. This is where it gets good...or bad if your my wife. The kids come in our room to greet us much like every morning. But wait, something seems awry? As we continued getting ready, my wife screeches, "WHAT DID YOU DO???!!!" Never a good thing to hear as you can imagine. Well, my son took his childproof scissors out for a project. Only problem, it was a project he had never embarked on before. He had cut his hair and his sisters hair completely off. Yes, he did. My daughter had beautiful brown locks which now look like a bunch of angry, drunk, Mexican landscapers took out the fury of God on. Completely off. As for him, his bangs, normally eyebrow length, are now barely an inch from his scalp. He looks like Ringo Starr might as a young boy and she is a cross between Sinead O'Conner and Pink. Parenthood rocks and I need a friggen x-ray!