Titty Monkey

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So this Peruvian guy just arrived in Mexico on a flight that just landed. During routine customs inspection they noticed he was transporting something and he was noticeably nervous. Nervous? This lunatic had 18 Titi Monkeys under his fucking shirt and in some sort of belt. He apparently removed them from his luggage to avoid them being exposed to the x-ray? Not for nothing, but I have never heard of a Titi Monkey before in my life. As an avid Discovery Channel watcher, it marvels me at how something like this can escape me. Are Titi Monkeys named as such due to their ability to clamp on to your titties as you smuggle them around the world? Seems fitting. Who smuggles monkeys around from country to country anyway, AND 18 of the little fuckers to boot. Did he not think he was going to raise suspicion SOMEWHERE along the way? Listen Pablo, you have 18 titty monkeys under your shirt. Not one or two, but 18. I mean I can see the lay person attempting to smuggle one or two titty monkeys for those boring flights, but 18 is pushing the envelope. Not to mention, the dude is 38. He said they were his pets. What 38 year old dude has any monkey as a pet, let alone 18 titty monkeys. I find the whole thing absurd. Whats even more absurd is that this dipshit actually made it on to a flight out of Peru only to get caught in Mexico. How does that happen? Didn't Peruvian authorities see his shirt moving as he passed through the metal detectors? Great security. Now, if they had a titty monkey detector, they would have caught this primate packing dingbat right away. I think I need myself some titty monkey. They are cuddly and apparently easy to transport. They would be a real hit with the chicks I bet. Anyway, as this poor ole scrap sits in a holding cell in a Mexican airport, I hope he strongly considers only taking one or two titty monkeys next time he feels like bringing his pet along for a vacation.