He's Gone...Nothin's Gonna Bring Him Back.

So by now we have all seen this debacle that is the LeBron James free agency saga. Last night, the long awaited decision was made and hopefully this shit was put to rest. That being said, there are many folks this morning voicing their unwanted and self-righteous opinions of the aforementioned decision. I say who the fuck gives a crap. I mean, do Clevelanders really think he was going to stay in that shithole? Cleveland is the whitehead on the ass of the Earth. Why would he want to stay in such a place when he can be clinking mojitos with the high society down in South Beach? Would you have stayed? Not a shot. I don't wanna hear these crybabies saying it was his home, or he was special to Cleveland, or its his friends and family. Bottom line, LBJ plays basketball for a living for the same reasons anyone does anything for a living - to make money and be the best that you can be at your profession. As a Knick fan, I was equally disappointed but it was just that - disappointment. I didn't go burning effigies of him in the street or stomp on his posters or flip a car or whatever else these meatheads in Cleveland were doing. I respected his decision, though I had hoped it was to NY. These poor Clevelanders haven't won a single thing in like 250 years or some shit, and I got news folks, it may very well be another 250 years still! The Cavs (pre-Lebron), Browns, and Indians could be the worst chances one has of seeing a city bring home some sort of title. Its over Cleveland.

I would also be remissed if I did not comment on Cavs owner Dan Gilbert's letter to the Cleveland fans today. Have you ever seen a bigger douchebag/sore loser? He "guaranteed" the Cavs win a championship before the Heat do. Really? I like the balls, but c'mon. The Cavs couldn't win a championship if you spotted them 80 wins. They are the proverbial losers of the game. Sure, there was a pittance of hope when LBJ graced the hardwood there, but not no mo' folks! They are like the Washington Generals of the NBA. The Washington Generals have in their contract that they must lose every game they play against the Harlem Globetrotters for entertainment purposes. I'm not so sure the Cavs don't have some similar clause with the league. Any prosperity they have enjoyed in the last 5 years or whatever, is gone people. Say hello to 21-61 in 2010-11.

Personally, I could give a rats ass how he handled it or what he decided on or how much money hes gonna make. If I were in his shoes, I would have done one better than sitting on a directors chair in a Boys/Girls club gym in Greenwich, CT. I would have had like 40 of the hottest hookers the world has to offer surrounding me all while fanning me and feeding me grapes at my pool. There would have been skywriters overhead, fireworks, and an interruption of every major programming network. Then, I would have made my decision and told the other teams to fuck off. No sugar coating here friends.

So, Lebron...enjoy every last minute of it my friend, you earned it. Fuck all the haters and get yours. May you have all the success you desire except when you play the Knicks twice a year. I hope they beat you by 50 and sub in scrubs to try and break your ankles. Otherwise, go gettem!